Lester

This is in response to a writing prompt at Writer's Village University. But first, an oldie but a goodie that someone reposted on FB today:

If a man talks in a forest and there's no one around to hear him, is he still wrong?

:D

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"Lester, my leafy friend, you think it's not easy being green? Being green's a cinch these days! Open a can, toss it into the recycle bin. Done with the newspaper? Toss it in the bin. Eggs all gone? Throw the carton in. Why, you can even recycle the shells. Ever heard of composting, Lester? I could compost you if I wanted, but I won't, of course. But you can compost all sorts of things. You can even compost newspapers! And egg cartons!

"I try to tell people that sometimes. I say 'you know, you can put that in the compost pile'. They just look at me like I'm speaking another language. You ever have that problem, Lester? Like you're talking and the words are coming out but the other person doesn't answer? I mean, I'm a quiet person after all. I don't talk much, mostly I listen. People talk back and forth and I sit and I watch, my head going left to right like I'm at a tennis match. Then, when they stop talking, I speak up. I say what I think. You know what happens, Lester? You know what happens when I do that? Absolutely nothing, that's what happens! It's like I never said a word. People just stare at me. Sometimes I think I have a disease. You know about diseases, right Lester? Well, ok, you know plant diseases, but maybe not people diseases, but still. I mean, maybe I don't talk right. Maybe I think there are words coming out of my mouth, but instead all I do is grunt. Or even worse, maybe I make no sound at all. Maybe I only hear myself in my head. Maybe the reason they stare is because my mouth is moving but nothing comes out. You think that's it, Lester?

"Lester?"